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New From Florida
Hello friends! I have been following Ms. Phyllis on FB and Insta for a while and just saw about this support group. My name is Jena and I have been caring for my Mama Dot for the last 6 years. She has always come to Florida from Atlanta to visit us for a couple of weeks throughout the year. She was a retired CPA who worked for the state, and when she retired, she just packed her golden retriever Bailey in the car and make the 8 hour journey. Then one time she didn’t ever show up. I was frantic. Her phone was dead and I had no clue where she was. After 2 hours, we called the police. A silver alert was issued and after about 4 hours, a clerk at a gas station about 5 miles from my house called 911 to report an older woman who was crying and lost. It was my mom. A will never forget that night. She never went back home. When I flew back to her house to get all her belongings, I was in shock. My Mothers house was in such disarray. Food left in the sink, clothes everywhere, her personal paper were laying all over her office. How could I have not known! After being here for a few weeks, the story started to unfold. Her neighbors said she had been getting in her car late at night, saying she had a doctors appt. She had been getting lost going to the grocery store and to relatives houses, but no one ever told me as they thought It was just part of getting older. I am here to just have someone else to talk to about the feelings I have. I don’t have any siblings, so It’s just my husband and myself. I am extremely blessed to have a man that loves my Mom just as his own. It can get ruff here sometimes as my Mom has Alzheimer’s with behavioral issues. She has even thrown dishes at us. I refuse sedatives, because I don’t want her to fall. She refuses to use her cane or walker. I quit my job 2 years ago to care for her full time. I am trying everything I know how to keep her at home with me, but ai feel like I failing. I have tried having a caregiver come in the home to give me something, but she refuses to even speak to them. I am so sorry I have rambled, but I’m desperate for some suggestions to keep my Mom and Myself together. Thanks for reading!❤️
Hello Jenna! Thank you for following my mom and I. And thank you for sharing your and her story, sounds so much like my mom when she was first diagnosed. How scary for you and her when she got lost making that drive to Florida I remember my mom getting lost driving and that was just to her hairdresser's salon a few miles from our house, we had to try and find her along the route because she could not figure out how to get home or to the salon. That was in the beginning of this awful journey. Your mom is so lucky to have you and your husband, don't ever feel like you are failing. You are doing amazing!! I know (along with every other caregiver) just how difficult caring for someone with dementia is. I know you do not want to give your mom sedatives, we felt the same way. They are so strong and at a higher risk of falling. That said, we found a natural sedative that has really worked well. At first we were buying it from a naturalist but then we found one on Amazon that really works. It calms my mom, but she's still alert and responsive (unlike when we give her Ativan). The one I am talking about is called "Passionflower B60 Alcohol-Free Herbal Extract Tincture, Concentrated Liquid Drops Natural". I could share the link with you if you want to email me: pannwalls@gmail.com. Sending love and prayers to you and your mom!!