_edited_edited.png)
Pinned Post
Welcome to our group Dancing for Memories Caregivers Connect! A space for caregivers to connect and share with each other. Start by posting your thoughts, sharing photos and videos, or creating a poll.
top of page
Dancing for Memories Caregivers Connect
Public·41 members
Momma
Our mom start showing signs of memory loss around 5 1/2 years ago. She was 68 at the time of onset symptoms. Fast forward to now , Mom is almost 72.
We officially got her diagnosis in Feb of this year, advanced dementia most likely alzheimer's. This past year has been a rollercoaster with mom starting to halucinate at times, it seems like sundowning went from evenings only to now lasting 24 hrs at a time. She thinks she is being held against her will at an institution. She is at her home and has never been in any Type of facility. She is crying alot more and constantly saying "i want to go home". We have tried taking her on a drive and then putting the address in gps for home and then taking her back. This worked twice. We can not afford an in home aid , so…
35 Views
pannwalls
May 31
I am so sorry to hear about the difficult journey you and your family are going through with your mother. It is heartbreaking when "home" feels like a place they can no longer find, even when they are already there. Since you mentioned that GPS drives have worked previously, you might try "I know you want to go home; we are going to get things ready so we can leave soon," I did that for my mom and it worked. Engaging her in a repetitive, soothing activity or playing music from her youth might also help manage the 24-hour sundowning and hallucinations. We also started using Passion Flower (an herbal tincture) for my mom and that helped calm her as well. Got it right on Amazon. Here is a link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071FHMBDD?linkCode=ssc&tag=genevievehald-20&creativeASIN=B071FHMBDD&asc_item-id=amzn1.ideas.1ACB8NN8QW22U&ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ofs_mixed_d_asin&th=1
Please know that you are doing an incredible job under very challenging circumstances. Sending prayers and strength to you, your stepdad, and your entire family.
I am the caregiver to my adult daughter with Down Syndrome. What brought me to this group though is for the last year and a half my dad has shown significant signs of some type of dementia. He has not been diagnosed yet. My sister and I live 4 hours away from him. My brother lives in the same area as my dad but also has young children and is very busy. It’s been so hard trying to figure out what to do to help him when he is so far away. He lives in a apartment by himself. We dont know what to do with him to keep him safe. He isn’t making good choices as far as money, his diet, and he keeps seeing things. He thinks somone comes through the wall and moves his fridge, trying to steal it. He has called the cops before. He make…
105 Views
pannwalls
May 02
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds incredibly overwhelming, especially with everything you’re already balancing as a caregiver. You’re doing the best you can in a really hard situation.
What you’re describing with your dad (seeing things, paranoia about someone coming through the walls, poor decision-making) are serious symptoms that really need medical attention as soon as possible, even without a formal diagnosis yet. If your brother is nearby, would he be able to help get your dad to a primary care doctor or neurologist for an evaluation? Even starting with his regular doctor can open the door to support and resources.
You and your siblings might also want to look into contacting your local Area Agency on Aging (for your dad’s county). They can help guide you through options like in-home support, safety checks, and programs that aren’t always income-restricted the same way IHSS is.
Given the safety concerns (especially hallucinations and calling the police), it may also be worth talking as a family about stepping in more formally, things like power of attorney or medical decision-making, before things escalate further.
Since distance is such a challenge, sometimes families will coordinate a rotation of visits, or look into hiring a part-time caregiver privately just to check in regularly and help with meals, meds, and safety.
Most importantly, please don’t feel like you have to figure this out alone. Situations like this often take a team; medical, social services, and family working together and it’s okay to ask for help.
You’re clearly a very caring daughter, and your dad is lucky to have you advocating for him.
Im so happy I found this group! My 91 year old dad has been living witH this disease for the oast 10 years. He lived with me for 6 years before I needed more help in keeping him safe and placed him in an AL community. He was doing great until he fell in August, while dancing. Since the surgury, rehab, and now reliant on a walker, he has declined rapidly. He is a lot mire aggresive with staff and recently with another patient. (No, he doesnt have a UTI) They have put him on some heavy duty meds that makes him zombie like. I hate this. I have an appointment With his Nuero doctor this week and I hope she can help find a good mix of meds to keep him calm, but still let him live his best life. This is so hard.
156 Views
Genevieve Haldeman
Nov 16, 2025
Hello Jana! I am so sorry to hear about your dad. This disease really is so hard. And I know what you are saying about the medications. Oftentimes the side effects are brutal. When they put my mom on Ativan she became a zombie as well, we hated seeing her like that. We tried a holistic medication that has been working really well and she's not as tired and out of it. It's called Passionflower Herbal Extract Tincture
bottom of page
What do you find is most challenging as a caregiver?